Xtreme Make-Me-Over

Dear Cadet,
Wow, looks like you are doing well in the force aren't you? As what you quoted, you said "I just can't get enough of the force, life's just FANTASTIC in there! They are treating us reaaaaaally nice! The people are UNBELIEVABLE, the toilets are SPLENDID, the food is EXCELLENT, the drills are EXCITING and life couldn't be any better!"
Yeah right, who are you kiddin'? Eh, cheer up 'big' guy, just imagine how suave and charming you'll become with the NEW LOOK (after 2 years).
Don't worry, this definitely beats Extreme Makeover pants down.
Well, on a lighter note, really glad to know that you are still in one piece. No matter what, I don't wanna see those chicken legs and arms any longer eh? They better be more of substance the next time you're out.
My girlfriend's back from Cam. Turns out she didn't BUY MY ALCOHOL!!! Hey, im cool.
It's getting a lil' busier at work lately it seems. Work = no social life. I need a break.Period.