In recent times...

Been feeling rather distant with God lately… u all must be thinking wat’s jon talking abt sia… but the truth is… I feel I’ve turned by back on God in recent times… sure enuff I’m not as close to him as some other pple are… but I nv was this distant… I really dun know why it became like this… I guess maybe it’s coz I nv took a look at my relationship with him only till recently… last tues I went for penitential service at Queen of Peace… I’ve not been proud of many things tat I’ve done in the past yr n I’ve always wanted someone to know… the thing is… nobody ever knew… sure enuff… even my closest friends knew a side of jon… but nv really jon… I once told a friend tat even comedians suffer from depression… she juz laughed it off… but God knew wat was wrong… but I nv appreciated it… I nv spoke to him… but on tues I needed someone badly… I was desperate… I did something which I shud have done a long time ago… I turned to him… terisa’s relationship wif him is very strong n I admire tat… I confessed whatever I needed to with my priest… I din know the priest I was confessing to as he was a priest from holy trinity… but it din matter… I needed to feel at peace with myself again… i prayed to him for strength… I was juz too weak now… I was wallowing in my own self-pity... i nv felt this low… coz I’ve nv experienced tat b4… I was in a hole… and all the stupid things I did juz made me dig deeper… it’s time i climbed my way back out… slowly but surely… everything will be ok… I can’t expect him to fly me out… but he’ll definitely show me the way… my mum had initially asked me to go for choice weekend b4 she left for UK… it’s be good for me she said… but without even thinking abt it I turned her down flat coz I tot it was lame… but thing’s have changed… I’m actually giving it serious thought… there’s one coming up in January n will wait till my mum gets back to inquire more… pple change… if only they put in effort… no matter how u stereotype someone… he can come along n still surprise u every once in awhile…
*nobody understands*