It's coming...

The Internal Revenue Service sent an auditor to a synagogue.
As the auditor reviews all the paperwork, he turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes, we do," responded the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" He asked.
"A good question," noted the rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual question actually had a practical answer.
"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with all the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the rabbi calmly. "We actually collect up all the crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer; and every now and then they send us a box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how he could fluster the rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he continued, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste." The rabbi answered. What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the Internal Revenue Service."
"Internal Revenue?" questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Internal Revenue. And about once a year, they send us a Little Prick like you."
*nobody understands*

It’s still my mum’s birthday week so I’m gonna wish her again… HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! U dun look a day older than 30… I say 30 coz tat number’s more realistic than 20 alrite! thanx for everything… u’ve been a great mother to me…
*nobody understands*

My sister’s back! But it’s only temporary lahz… she’ll juz be back for abt 2 weeks then it’s off to Manchester again… wahhh… u really know how to time ur return to Singapore rite… but aiyah… if I were u… I’d prob do the same thing… hahaz…
*nobody understands*

Office politics is getting worse… dread coming in these days… not tat I din expect it… I juz din wanna be a part of it… Behind all those smiling faces… they’re actually sharpening their knives… turn around… watch u fall…
*nobody understands*

Managed to catch football hooligans recently. The show mainly focused on the gangs (or as they call it “firms”) around football grounds in the country… but the only time I abt saw a football was ard the beginning of the movie and it only like lasted 2 minutes? Yup… well… apparently… all of them like abt dress the same… a jacket… preferably paul smith or adidas… if not then at least an umbro… then its jeans… either dark or faded blue… and of course… white shoes… definitely from umbro… a football hooligan’s life then starts with beer… more beer… then off the match… fighting… done fighting… back to the pub… beer… and more beer… it was quite interesting to see Elijah Wood fighting coz he was the hobbit in Lord of the Rings… he dun look fierce though… unlike the other guy… Pete Dunham was his name in the movie… my goodness… got one scene where he juz came out of the shower… wah seh… out from nowhere… his body damn sculpted sia… but of course… he fighter mahz… anywayz… to be honest… I rather enjoyed the movie… juz like wat my colleague said… this was a dick flick… and I honestly do believe this movie isn’t fictitious at all… this sort of thing does happen in the England… actually not only England… Italy… Spain… the rest of Europe for tat matter… dun tell me u haven’t seen the reports… during the world cup or euro championships… English hooligans are always in the news… to think abt it… it’s quite scary…
*nobody understands*

Chi new yr can’t come soon enough…
Gong Xi Fa Cai…
*nobody understands*