I'm not awesome...

If I could be a superhero
I would be awesome man
I’d fly around the world fighting crime
According to my awesome plan
And if I saw criminals trying to lie
Hurting other people and making them cry
I’d haul them off to jail in my awesome van
‘Cause I would be awesome man

Now, Some criminals want you to be a criminal
And they offer you things like drugs, alcohol
But we know what to do, kids
We just say ‘No’

If I could be a superhero
I would be Drug-Free boy
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lives they destroy
Well I would take all the junk
He’s getting so high
With their needles and bongs
And their sticks of tye
As I burn them alive I would squeal with joy
Because I would be drug-free boy

If I could be a superhero
I'd be Immigration dude
I’d send all the foreigners back to their homes
For eating up all of our food
And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
I’d pass a lot of laws to get rid of their food
‘Cause I’d be Immigration Dude

Kids, You can make up your very own superhero
If you could, Who would it be?
If I a superhero
Would you be justice guy
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especially women who lie
Like if a wife left her husband
With three kids and no job
To run off to Hawaii
With some doctor named bob
You can skin them and drain them of blood so they die
Especially bob
Then you would be justice guy

Or you could be more sutle
No, I didn’t mean to be vague
Give her the mad cow disease
Let him die of the plague
As long as they suffer for their terrible lies
Especially Bob
Then You would be Justice Guy
Yes then you would be a super hero like me
( Stephen Lynch - Superhero )

*nobody understands*

( 22nd March )
An exam over... walked out of the exam room with the same feeling i've been having all the other times when i had exams... tat sense of "head in hands" feeling... not again i tell myself... why din they ask wat's the difference between B2B and B2C... why couldn't they ask wat's the difference between a business case and a business plan... why couldn't they ask things tat i took the time to memorise for... instead... why ask wat's the difference and similiarity of extranet and interorganisational information systems... it was like askin me the difference between a donkey and an ass... watever it was... i could have said some utterly stupid things like extranet has something extra in it... which i decided against since miss chia is a nice person and she has enuff papers to mark already as it is... let's wait for the sms from the school shall we?

( 28th March )
An exam over again... walked out of the exam room with the same feeling i've been having all the other times when i had exams again... tat sense of "head in hands" feeling again... not again i tell myself again... studied real last minute for this paper... had a lot of things on my mind... but it's juz too late... and we can't go back... excuses wun save my sorry ass... i'm more or less certain abt the supp paper... but there can be miracles... when u believe...
*nobody understands*

no matter how hard u try... u can't please everybody
*nobody understands*

Anthony's leaving soon... ant wuz my supervisor at bakerzin OA back then and he's a malaysian... he's got a nice character and was certainly very friendly wif the staff... lookin at him on the streets... u wouldn't even think he was a supervisor but more of a student at the poly... tats how young n fresh he looked... heard from jon recently tat he's going back home... was sad to hear this since he is probably one of the nicer supervisors at bakerzin... someone tat i could get along wif too... gonna miss u ant...
*nobody understands*

had a recent conversation wif an ex colleague of mine... she told me she kept a diary to herself and only she knew abt the diary as in... only she knew the contents in it... nobody else... not even her best frenz knew wat wuz in it... all her frustrations... all her thoughts... bitchin needs... watever juz went into the diary... i admired tat... it was private... stuff nobody is supposed to know... and only ur diary knew... deep thoughts tat u knew u couldn't put up on ur blog... for a risk of backstabbers or misunderstandings... juz like talkin to the diary itself and it listens... she asked me if i kept one... the truth is... no... i find the idea of actually penning down my tots on a piece of paper as... "so now wat does this accomplish?" if i had a problem... if i din want anybody to know... wat would writing it down do for me? it juz doesn't work for me... many pple keep diaries... and it works for them... i guess... i'm different then... probably not expressive as i thought i was... if i wanted to... if only i could reflect on all my past thoughts... wat do i have to look upon? my blog?...my blog... it's superficial lahz... i'm sure u wouldn't want somebody u're not close wif to know all abt ur sex life or ur heart-aching problems rite? i guess... close ones have always been the solution for me... and i thank them for tat... it makes my problems lighter... knowing at least... i'm not alone?
*nobody understands*

Jackie Ong and all her worth...

God, please let this dear LAO-ASIAN be lenient on our papers. How time flies. It's unofficial, but I have graduated (I think). Yesterday marked the closing of my Tourism trilogy on campus. Though it was considered the 'last day' of school, everyone stepped out of the classrooms as though they would still be seeing each other the next day, that everything was back to how old school days were. But you and I know it's all gonna be different. Only got to feel the impact of this sudden 'leaving' after embracing my dear friend Ivan at the bus terminal last night. Guess this kinda thing really affects me...Jo...you better not do this. Haiz...like the famous saying goes, when it's all been said and done...
Replying to my dearest blogmate: Seriously, I SIMPLY had no idea their concert is gona be held 2molo...Haha, it doesn't really matter...Avril's gona be better.

Nexus Lounge

it's 5.30... 5.30am... time... time is passing soooo... soooooo... soooooooo slowly... been wiping tat damn counter-top... a little over 7 times now... i swear... it's so shiny now u can even see ur teeth sparkle when the wood shines... well well... for today... they decided to put me at Nexus Lounge located at Terminal 1... a real change for today... all the while i've been doing the nite shifts at T2 which is like the main bar... one other lao jiao n me... benny the old bird... benny is cool... he works two bar jobs... working nite shifts with him is always a pleasure... he works fast... lets me do my own thing... doesn't gif a shite abt management... tats cool... but now... at nexus... alone... lonely... i'm so lonesome... and... bored... bored... bored... hardly any customers... tired... tired... tired... cannot sleep... must not sleep... dammit... next time... juz bring a farkin storybook...
*nobody understands*

oh blogmate... dun know if u have realised... but ur number 1 band simple plan's gig at suntec is tomolo lehz... why? never buy tickets ah? tot u're like the ULTIMATE simple plann-er?! oh no... faster go n buy ur front row tix b4 they run out... hahaz... if not u'll really be singing... " now it's juz too late... and we can't go back... I'm sorry... i can't be................. "*nobody understands*

Unwell

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I’m talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I’ve lost my mind

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I’ve been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they’ll come to get me
Yeah, they’re taking me away

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I’m just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I’m just a little unwell
(Matchbox Twenty - Unwell)

*nobody understands*

SOOOO u're famous now...

read recently from an article tat u've become utterly famous... wait wait... let me rephrase... i din exactly read the article... coz juz the sight of ur face made my stomach churn... a mere glance and i knew it wuz all abt ur now famous page... and being the publicity whore tat u are... i'm sure tat u're basking in all its glory now... takin this opportunity to show off... the pictures... the stories... telling all ur frenz... (which u believe are a plenty)... tat u're become a celebrity now... well... top marks to u... u've finally lived ur dream... making it big by gossiping and slagging other pple off... and enjoy doing it... ha... the things u enjoy... givin ur fans wat they want... and the fans... my god... u have fans!... i couldn't believe it myself BUT u have FANS! u must be utterly thrilled... acting like u're the only angel on earth whereas the rest of us are nobodys compared to u... pple who u believe worship the ground u walk on... telling u how fantastic u are... well... as for me... i'm saving most of the comments for myself... hopefully i still can... u're famous now... wat can i say? i'm juz a peasant...
*nobody understands*

In times like these... u learn to live and love...

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were running the reins

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man
Cheers darlin'
I just hang around and eat from a can
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar
Cheers darlin'
I got a beauty queen
To sit not very far from here

I die when he comes around
To take you home
I'm too shy
I should have kissed you when we were alone

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?
I got years to wait...
( Damien Rice - Cheers Darlin )
*nobody understands*

another damien rice song i'm putting at the start of my blog... if u haven't heard of his name yet... u'll hear more of it soon... sometimes i think i juz advertise the guy too much... but heyz... come on! the guy's farking brilliant... nobody composes songs n sings them like he does anymore... emotions u can feel from the sound of his voice n the strum of his guitar... i can juz listen to his songs over n over again n not be tired of him... jon lim thinks i'm weird... listening to kanye west on one hand and damien rice on the other... well... u dun see me listening to iron maiden n scorpions do ya?
*nobody understands*

something's really wrong wif me... not mentally lahz (u all already know tat!)... but more physical... marks... bites... scars... scratches... watever u can call them have juz been appearing on all parts of my body... non-stop... especially on my legs... it's really bad... i really dun know wat the hell is going on... i din have this problem till late last yr... went to see the skin specialist recently... he said it's juz an infection... just an infection? how u know it's not something more? the wounds i get from scratching is horrible... it's juz too itchy... i scratch... a scar makes it mark... the itch is unbearable now... i scratch somemore... it's getting worse... creams... menthol... aloe vera... tea tree oil... alcohol swab (WOW!) basket... nothing works... eh... no joke... wats going on? if tat wasn't enuff... my eyes are giving me problems again... sore eyes... the sleepless nights really taking their toll on me... or could it be the heaty weather? ahhh... a combination... as my girl wud say... it's becoz i have itchy fingers tats y i have sore eyes and open wounds... well... u're probably rite... but like i said... probably...
*nobody understands*

dun look for trouble... trouble will look for u...
*nobody understands*

another one of those days... had juz left the hospital... was really not in the mood to talk to no-one... was at the platform waitin for the train to arrive... out from nowhere... a girl approaches me with this huge barang barang bag... i knew wat was coming

HELLO! how are u? my name is ... (i din quite catch it)... juz ask tat u spare me a min of ur time u see here this box inside... (wah... dun even want to wait for my answer issit)... u know wat is inside? (does it look like i can see thru walls?)u got go london b4 anot sir? this is the famous clock tower! the big ben! yah... u see this... (i peer into the box n see a lighter n an ashtray... yup... dun be shocked! big ben wasn't inside! *GASP*... the only big benny abt these items were that they had the word big ben and a picture of a clock tower engraved on each item)... impressive rite?! (not really )... this one flown in STRAIGHT from london u know... (my balls!)... cannot find in singapore 1... usual price is 69.99 but for now we're having a special promotion and selling it at 20 dollars only... 20 dollars lehz sir! yes it is tat cheap! but today is the last day tats y u must buy now... but wait... during this period u also get a free gift (out from her xiao ding dang bag comes another box)... u see inside here... got a free watch lehz... u tell me where got offer like this... too good to be true rite but it is true!... only 20 dollars sir... so how?

at this point... i felt watever she had been telling me was total bollocks and decided to give it to her straight... nobody shits wif jon on a bad day... i had enuff... i was on my way to giving her the biggest ticking off of my career... angry jon had been unleashed... but decided on a shake of the head n a "no thank u" in the end...

eh eh... but why... (wat why)... this 1 very good mahz... ermmm... 20 dollars too expensive issit?

i politely answered back... maybe i didn't...

it's not tat... i'm really not interested... plus i dun even have 20 dollars in my wallet (total bullshit )... all i have is like... ermmm... 10 bucks?

farkz... get the bloody hint... i'm not interested u twat...

10 dollars ahhh? errrr...

she summons over her "business partner" who's not far from us... at tat point i was like thinking... WAH! mafia tactics now lahz... my back was against the wall... a test of character was needed... would i 'bottle' it? the train was taking ages to come...

errr... if u got only 10 dollars then can lahz... sell u for tat price... no problems...

WHAT?! u gotta be bloody shitting me... from 69.99 to 20 and now to 10? since when did i enter the bargain basement? is the salvation army juz around the corner? come on... this was getting ridiculous... i dun look like i really have my brains in my ass do i? DUN ANSWER TAT

(nervous laughter) if u can sell this to me at 10 dollars doesn't it mean this is worth less than 10?

she converses wif her business partner... either she really din hear me or she's really got her back against the wall now... i pressed on...

y sell me so low? if u sell me so low... u're making loss mahz... u say is 20 dollars... y do u want to do tat? y dun u try n sell to other pple... like tat then wun make loss mahz... better than sell me 10 dollars...

i still dun know how it got to this point from a shake of the head and a "no thank you"

aiyah cannot lah... today last day... now got to go back office... really u cannot buy ah

another shake of the head... the train came... tats all tat mattered now...
*nobody understands*

i know i've kept on saying this... but i need a farking holiday man... been planning to go to a lot of places... possibilities named were bangkok... taiwan... hongkong... bintan... macau... laos... obviously some were cock possibilities but they were juz ideas... and of course... manchester... ahhh... tat place juz brings back memories... it'll always have a special place in my heart... and a special place in my bank account too.... ahhhhhhhhhh... in any case... if i want a trip i'd best be doin it for the rite reasons... army life beckoning... another "brilliant" year in school... ahhhh... 010****F has waited damn long to graduate... his moment is arriving soon... quick... gif me my robe and my scroll... oh wait... we dun do tat... ahhh... juz let me go...
*nobody understands*

juz wanna thank a few pple for now... like my mates at harry's@changi airport... when i first joined i was really a headless chicken... u guyz took care of me and showed me the ropes... and now... i've found my own two feet in this bar... guyz like paul... nadia... kim... thanx man...
*nobody understands*

special mention going out to my groupmates... hidahyah... geraldine... serene... wen ling... janice... the certain feeling i have is like we're all marooned on an island in the middle of the ocean... different personalities... prima donna egos (well... not really lahz)... different styles... we needed to get off this island... we could either farkin be individuals abt it and do it all alone... or we cud have done it together as a team... we chose the latter... my group has been fantastic... absolutely top notch... the best grp i've worked in during my whole existence in temasek poly... i have not one single complaint abt my group... the experience has been wonderful... i dun take my position for granted... i'm juz glad tat i was given the chance to enjoy this ride wif u galz...
*nobody understands*

my blogmate... take care of ur wounds yah... these wounds wun seem to heal... the pain is juz too real... for u at least... hahaz... juz kidding... i'm sure u know wat's best for urself... top marks to u for coming thru the pain barrier during these crunch times... we couldn't have done it without ya...
*nobody understands*

to my good buddies... the only senior part-timer who's left at bakerzin... hats off to ya man... u're really the survivor... juz becoz i dun work there anymore doesn't mean i have forgotten u... time's are tight man... tat doesn't mean we still dun hang tight... sheesha sessions are still the norm u hear... i'll drop by bakerz whenever i can... but truth be told... u'll nv beat my record there... hahaz... and also to ivan... never one to shy away from the limelight... who do u look for when u got a problem? brother jon will take u to the promise land...
*nobody understands*

lastly... all my love going out to my woman... in these difficult times... u're being very strong... i'm proud of u... it's been wonderful these 9 months wif u... our relationship has really withstood the test of time... it's already way past our sell-by date and we're still as fresh as ever... hahaz... unchartered territory for us as we've never experienced long-term relationships b4... but i must say we're handling it very well... we've had our fair share of arguments... but never more than tat... time spent wif u has been top quality... i wouldn't trade it in for anything else... not even an xbox... hahaz... juz jokin... typical jon eh? oh well... let's look to more sunny days ahead... rain also can lahz... unless u mind...
*nobody understands*