That damn burger...

The ride
Met up wif lyd yesterday for lunch... we took her car down to town and decided to go marina square as we were lookin for a place to chow down… lunch with frenz has always been a debatable issue… where shud we eat? With no amt of imagination it wud have been the usual foodcourt or fast food like long john’s or macs… abt to give up and juz go eat rice when something caught my eye… I twisted me head and zoomed in on this place… with its boisterous crowd and bright signage… how cud I have not tried this place in all my times at marina square? This place sounds interesting i tot to myself… this cud be the one… LYDIA! COME! Let’s go! It was an order to be followed… no buts… and there we were… in front of carl’s jr…
*nobody understands*

The adventure
Took a look at the board and eventually settled on a double western bacon cheeseburger coz it had the least veggies… and it was F*CKING chunky! Struggled to even finish half of it… but I wud not let this burger defeat me… I paid 10 bucks for u and I’m f*ckin gonna chomp u down… of course i was already halfway thru hell trying to overcome the sheer might of its melted cheese, beef patties, bacon strips and onions… but I wasn’t gonna let it get to me… finally… I was left with one bite… come on son! Have a go! I swear… it was all gonna come out thru my mouth if I had another bite… shud I take the risk? There was a lady in front of me for crying out loud… ahhh… it was Lydia anyway… f*ck it… *munch*… suddenly re-runs of fear factor kept playing in my head where the contestants puke out their cow brains… monkey balls and whatever else… luckily for me… nothing came out… it all went down… a huge sigh of relief overcame me…
*nobody understands*

The aftermath
Indigestion… ohhhh…
*nobody understands*

And now
Happy Birthday Lydia…
*nobody understands*

Relax...

Smart ass 


Dun mess with the cat 


Spot the difference 


Congrats to my blogmate again on a wonderful show done... internal reviews said tat the show was fantastic... those long weeks of hard work have finally paid off... i knew u'd pull thru... have a good free week ahead... u deserved it...
*nobody understands*

Bird flu hits France! 

Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to San Francisco together! Have a great life!

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife


Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed,
RICH AS HELL AND FREE!

Juz a question… when our pen juz doesn’t seem to work anymore… wat do we proceed to do? Shake it rite? Honestly… Does tat really work? When our watch juz doesn’t seem to tick any longer… juz gif it a good old swing and we assume it’ll work eh? Wrong… nothing happens… but yet we still continue to swing it using more force with each particular wrist action… FOR F*CK? Are u telling me tat the mechanics in the watch will juz jump rite into place and PRESTO! The watch lives again? Does it really work?
*nobody understands*

Saw an interesting family last nite while having my dinner… they really caught my attention coz of the way the 2 children looked… the son had a short buzz cut… but in the front he had kept a “tail”… a small amt of long golden hair… and the interesting thing was… he looked no older than 8 yrs old… the sister was abt somewhere there too… she too looked no older than 12 and was already wearing high heels… my my… dun these kids come along fast… surprising their dad din offer them a fag while he smoked… as they left the coffeeshop… they walked in unison together… and wat i mean is… their arms swung side to side typically like a 90’s ah beng… ALL OF THEM! well… looks like retro hasn’t died… the legacy still lives on…
*nobody understands*

Nobody said it was easy…
No-one ever said that it’d be this hard…
Oh take me back to the stars…

so far…
Staying in office past 6 – 3
Paid overtime – 0
Life of secretary - Priceless
*nobody understands*

While on the PS2…
Play enuff already anot
Ok… off it now
You play until wat time
U tomolo have to wake up early u know
JONATHAN!

-Words from mother to son
*nobody understands*

Man Of The Day

Time's standing still...

Work’s fine and the environment’s great… rather quiet down here but tat’s normal coz everyone’s so serious here… lots of big shots up here so kinda feel a bit stressed sometimes… only sometimes… my senior’s an NSmen like myself… difference is he ORD in January… lucky bastard… he’s a nice guy… conscious of the fact tat i’m new here… he took the effort to show me ard and introduced me to some of the pple tat I’d hafta be more familiar with for the rest of my career… brought back memories of my time at CAAS… but back then i din have a senior who wud show me ard or anything… tats y i felt rather bored and lonely in the office back then… not tat i talk much with anyone now anyway… guess it’s juz tat initial fear of working in a new environment… with tat being said... i’ve already got myself stuck in and hope to do the job well… basket! my colleague got radio at his cubicle…
*nobody understands*

My ps2 has been getting a lot of attention lately… recently when i paid my fren a decent price for it… he told me tat there’d be a danger it’d overheat if i used it for too long… coz the one tat i got now is like a “smaller” version of the original ps2 and the difference between the normal sized one and mine is tat the normal sized one has like a fan in it tat’ll cool the system when it’s on so tat it wun heat up too fast whereas the smaller one doesn’t… my unit’s really tiny compared to the original size… serious! if u’re in a games shop u can juz ask to take a look at it… got a shock when i saw it for myself back then… anywayz… I was a bit gutted when he told me tat it’d be best to stop after 2 hrs coz i’m quite the avid gamer… back when i was in secondary school I’d spend my weekends literally in the arcade… yeah man… i’d stay there from the minute it opened till the moment the last person left at closing time… i wud probably say 80% of my allowance went into those machines back then but i juz couldn’t help it… ahhh… those were the days… the days when in fact it wasn’t men over machines... but indeed when machines ruled over men…
*nobody understands*

And lastly to tat lovely lady… thank u… of all the young women i know… u definitely care for me the most… haven’t seen u in a while and I do hope u’re doing fine… but then again… I know u are… juz received ur mail yesterday… haven’t watched it yet but i’m sure to have a hilarious time watching it… so lucky we have the same mother… hahaz… thanx again sis… see ya when u get back…
*nobody understands*

Only time will tell...

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
( Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You )
*nobody understands*

i'm out of tracom already... passed out on the 4th oct... was a really retarded parade... i was in the front row somemore... how lame can tat be man... anywayz... when we started wif our t-baton display... guess wat? i even heard laughter from the crowd... there even was this malay mother in front of me who went hysterical when we started... imagine tat... hahaz... and i even had our folks to come see this... OH THE HUMANITY!... well... it's over yeah... no more in police academy anymore... on to greater things...
*nobody understands*

a few of us harry's crew were celebratin jas bdae at marina south the other day... jas was one of my colleagues who used to work at harry's bar but i din really know her too well... was kinda surprised when nadia called to ask me to join the 3 of u... well... since i know nadia n kim... why not? plus u said she was paying... i'm such a slut... in any case... we had steamboat down at marina south... and i gotta clear up this common misconception tat many pple i know have... WHERE GOT DIRTY?... i love eating here... food is cheap n u can eat all u want... better than seoul garden or cocca restaurant... so expensive... felt a bit paiseh when the girls asked me to get the crab... coz it was a live crab n i din exactly know how to pummel it... ALAMAK! WAT KIND OF GUY ARE U?! USELESS LAHZ!... eh sorry lahz... if u want me to change light bulb i know how k!... hahaz... anywayz... was a bit concerned abt goin there in the 1st place coz nadia's a muslim... how can... the stuff there not halal... i know she dun eat pork... but it's like... we're cookin it all together yeah? can mehz? "oh nvm... i'm fine wif it"... ahhh... din surprise me anyway... u go club n drink somemore... shall not be too touchy here... while we had our dinner i must have had like 5 cans of season's lemon tea... tat shit's addictive sia... been tryin to cut down... but i juz can't... well... better than drinkin coke lahz... so much fizz... u'll definately smell something funky when u're next to me... after we had our meal we went to have a shot at bowlin... was a member of the scool team the last time... but hadn't played the game in ages so i wanted to see if i still had it... i mean... it's like ridin a bike eh? once u have the hang of it... u wun forget it... well... the answer is... no... i sucked...
*nobody understands*

Have u ever seen 2 old ladies rushing for a seat on the mrt b4? well i did... it's not a particularly pleasant sight... once a seat was available during rush hr... nevermind the train was already damn packed... both of them on opposite ends jostled their way thru the crowd... pushin kids out of the way juz to get to their seat... eventually only 1 got it and was met wif a sarcastic smile... i must have witnessed a different kind of sport being played out on this train... kinda like musical chairs now come to think of it...
*nobody understands*

recently bought myself a PS2... yes no typo error... i bought one... the price was too good to pass off... my fren was lookin for a buyer so juz told him i was interested... bought it on credit though coz i'm already flat out for the month... apparently it's a tradition to name it... haven't thought of a name yet... but will eventually think of one soon...
*nobody understands*

i'll officially be startin my first day of work at MHA in like 8 hrs time... oh pls Lord... help me get thru this day in one piece...
*nobody understands*

very happy rite now... coz Man City have run out 2-1 winners against West Ham... their own home form has a reputation of being rather inconsistant so i'm overjoyed tat they managed to put this one away... cud have been more though... but still happy wif the result... better things to come? how abt a Champions League place? even better... how abt the title? hahaz...
*nobody understands*

met this guy at the table i was sittin at while watchin the man city game... quite a friendly chap... told me he himself was a punter and tat he had this system of predicting matches but was not betting on this game... during the half-time break we talked a lot abt soccer n other stuff... after man city scored their second goal he told me tat west ham will score 1 for sure but will still lose the match... how cud he be so sure? he juz said sure 1... and true enuff... in injury time they got 1 back... pure luck? i dun know man... i juz know tat i wud have been really pissed if man city had thrown tat match away juz like in previous yrs... but fortunately... kevin keegan isn't in charge anymore...
*nobody understands*



This looks like a much better place...
THE CITY OF MANCHESTER STADIUM!

No Man's Land

My my, this is where i wanna be. where dreams unfold.