Tuesday, August 31, 2004

For the time being...

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
(Yellowcard - Only One)
*nobody understands*

my goodness... it's now like the 10th time i'm listening to tat track from Yellowcard... dun ask me why... i juz think its a nice song... but can't really say the same for the rest... hahaz... managed to buy their album over the weekend... but kinda realised... Yellowcard not really for me lahz... their brand of music... i think a bit for the younger generation... i can't really explain unless u take a listen to it... juz ask me for the cd if u're interested... although i've been listening to this song for like 10 times... it can't freakin compare to the countless no. of times i've been listening to Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional and She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5... thanx for helpin me burn the cd...
*nobody understands*

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Paranoid City...

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

(Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated)
*nobody understands*

i managed to catch this movie coffee and cigarettes the other day wif risa... ermmm... not ur typical kind of movie i must say... it's like neither a movie movie kind nor a documentary... in fact i dun know wat it was... the actors played themselves for their roles and the whole movie comprised of many scenes with each scene having different actors... seated ard a table... chatting... drinking coffee... and yes... smoking cigarettes... tats it... the show had quite a lot of stars though... pinocchio roberto benigni... doc octopus alfred molina... punk rock star iggy pop... jack and meg white of the white stripes... elven queen cate blanchett... bill "lost in translation" murray... etc... there wasn't really a storyline to the movie... all juz talkin abt their own stuff and it can sometimes be very funny... u cud sense tat behind every scene there was like a hidden meaning... they were like talkin abt their lives and why they act the way they do off screen... problem was... many of the stars most of us haven't even heard of b4... so how wud we know wat their background was? but essentially... the movie was quite slow... completely shot in black and white... it gave the whole movie a real film noir feelin... but at some times... it felt as though i came here... paid 8.50... juz to see them smoke cigarettes... drink coffee and talk among themselves...
*nobody understands*

Friday, August 20, 2004

Don't Just Smile...LAUGH!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But Mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Wife: What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
Hubby: Golfing with friends, my dear.
Wife : What? At 2 am?
Hubby: Yes, we used night clubs.

Interviewer: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire: I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her ? Millionaire: A Billionaire.

A man was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Q: Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S ?
A: Because people started licking the wrong side.

Wife: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
"I like your sense of humour."

Monday, August 16, 2004

Everything You Need To Know About Chelsea's New Manager

A bodyguard by his side, he stared down at two teams striving for what he had already got, a place in the final in Gelsenkirchen three weeks from now.

He said he felt no embarrassment about how his presence in west London on the biggest night of Claudio Ranieri’s career would be interpreted. That is not a concern anymore anyway. This Champions League exit meant Chelsea’s favourite dead man walking just stumbled into the execution chamber.

So Mourinho sat back and watched the perfect outcome unfold. There will be no lingering desire among the Chelsea faithful for Ranieri to stay now. Everyone has done their mourning for The Tinkerman and now, in Mourinho, they will see a man who has already taken a team with a fraction of Chelsea’s resources where they want to go.


“The appointment of Jose Mourinho is all about building on the foundations which we have already established at Chelsea. He represents the new generation of football coaches and we are convinced he can take us to the next level, both in England in Europe. His record of sustained success makes him perfect for what we want to achieve at Chelsea.”
- Peter Kenyon, Chelsea Chief Executive

1963: Born on January 26, and named Jose Mario Santos Mourinho Felix. Son of former Portugal goalkeeper Felix Mourinho.
1992: Takes first high-profile role in football when appointed to work under Bobby Robson at Sporting Lisbon. Despite his father's status in the game, Mourinho never played professionally and instead focused his sights on a coaching future. He had held low-profile positions at Estrela Amadora and Vitoria Setubal before taking the Sporting job. Served initially as translator to Robson, before becoming increasingly involved in training.
1993: Moves on with Robson when the veteran coach goes to Porto. In three years at Porto, the team win two league titles.
1996: Joins Barcelona in the summer of 1996 as assistant coach to Robson.
1997: Stays on at the Nou Camp after Robson departs, taking up a role under new coach Louis van Gaal.
2000: Takes his first head coaching job at Benfica but lasts just nine games before resigning due to problems in the boardroom.
2001: Appointed coach of Uniao de Leiria and guides the club into the top five of the Portuguese league midway through the 2001-02 season.
2002: Joins Porto in January and the club overcome their poor start to the league season to finish third.
2003: In Mourinho's first full season in charge, Porto win the treble of domestic league and cup, and Uefa Cup.
2004: Having already successfully defended their Portuguese league title, Porto win the Champions League title in Monaco on May 26 with a 3-0 victory over Monaco.
May 31: Chelsea part company with manager Claudio Ranieri, increasing speculation that Mourinho will leave Porto for Stamford Bridge.
June 2: Appointed manager of Chelsea.


What Happened To Us?

I thought it was to good to be true
I found somebody who understands me
Someone who would help me to get through
And fill an emptiness I had inside me
But you kept inside, and I just denied
Some things that we should have both said
I knew it was to good to be true
Cause i'm the only one who understands me...

What happened to us? We used to be so perfect, now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us? And deep inside I wonder, did I lose my only?

Remember they thought we were to young
To really know what it takes to make it

But we had survived all what we have done
So we could show them all that they're mistaken
But who could have known, the lies that would grow
Until we could see right through them
Remember they knew we were too young
We still don't know what it takes to make it...

What happened to us? We used to be so perfect, now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us? And deep inside I wonder, did I lose my only one?

We could have made it work, we could have found a way
We should have done our best to see another day
But we kept it all inside until it was too late
And now we're both alone, the consequence we pay
For throwin it all away, for throwin it all away...

What happened to us? We used to be so perfect, now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us? And deep inside I wonder, did I lose my only...
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?

(Hoobastank - What Happened To Us)

*nobody understands*

The EPL Weekend

here's a sight u wun see at the end of the season... arsenal 1st... BOLTON 2nd... Aston Villa 3rd... man utd 17th... of course lahz... it's juz the opening day... but i must say... arsenal will really be the team to beat this season... time n time again... they really exposed the "other merseyside" team's defence... they played so cockily tat even tat frenchman tried walkin the ball into the net... but unsuccessfully... who can beat arsenal... tat will be the question for this season... whichever team it is... it'll definately take a great effort to disarm the gunners...i'm a manchester fan... blue half... red half... but slightly more tilted to the red side... but on this weekend... it wuz the blue half who did better than their counterparts by a point... haiz... but man city... again n again... always must disappoint ur home fans... a disappointing result i feel... although it wuz a draw... many fans expected them to win fulham... but hey... A LOT of teams drew over the weekend... even liverpool... they drew wif tottenham... wow... looks like tat french coach has something up his sleeves... he really fielded a team of unknowns and still managed to get the job done... well done santini... and lastly... man utd... u really looked very ordinary yesterday... it wuz as if i wuz watchin leeds utd play chelsea... there's like no bite... no creativity... nothing special abt this special team... maybe its coz of the injuries and those 2 who went to the olympics... but watever it is... something's gotta be done... n done fast mind u... FORLAN! i've nv given up on u... plus u're wearing my fav no.! u're really a good player... but i juz think... u're at the wrong club... maybe if u were in a team like... crystal palace or middlesborough... u'll definately be a star...chelsea... u rich farkz... u were the better team yesterday... but i dun like ur coach n owner... cocky bastards... really wanna wipe tat smile off their faces... can chelsea continue this form till the end of the season? i dun know... but one fixture to look out for will definately be chelsea vs arsenal...

*nobody understands*

Thursday, August 12, 2004

What Makes You A Singaporean

  • Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.
  • Thanks 2 SMS, u oso donno how 2 spel n e mor.
  • You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before sitting down.
  • At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.
  • When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent.
  • You won't raise your voice to protest policies but you'll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.
  • You're forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.
  • You don't know any of the people attending your wedding.
  • You separate food into 2 basis groups: heaty & cooling.
  • You think that what makes you 'married' is not the legal registration but whether you've thrown a 10-course dinner.
  • You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.
  • If you're a guy, whenever you get together with your guy friends, you invariably trade army stories.
  • You've eaten more times at the Esplanade than you've actually seen shows there.
  • At the dinner table, you're always discussing which other food places serve better versions of what you're eating.

Lastly...

  • You think the most important sporting event this year was David Beckham switching from MU to Real Madrid.

Friday, August 06, 2004

People...Enjoy!

Condom says to Kotex, "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months."

Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!

A black guy and a white girl met at a nightclub.
She took him to her apartment and said: "Tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!"
So he ran off with the TV and VCR...

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked:
"Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"



S.M.I.L.E (Hope you are still)

FLY ME TO THE MOON

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore

THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT

Someday, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

The End Has No End

One by one, ticking time bombs won
It's not the secret of the government
That's keeping you dumb
Oh, it's the other way around - wait...What's that sound?
One by one, baby, here they come

He wants it easy; he want it relaxed
Said I can do alot of things, but I can't do that
Two steps forward, then three steps back
...Alright

"Won't you take a walk outside?"
-Oh no.
"Can't you find some other guy?"
-Oh no.
"1 9 6 9 what's that sound?"
-Oh no.
Keeping down the underground
Oh no...

The end has no end the end has no end
The end has no end the end has no end

He want it easy; he want it relaxed
Said I can do alot of things, but I can't do that
Two steps forward, then three steps back
It won't be easy

"Won't you take a walk outside?"
-Oh no.
"Can't you find some other guy?"
-Oh no.
"1 9 6 3 what's that sound?"
-Oh no.
Keeping down the underground
Oh no...

The end has no end the end has no end
The end has no end the end has no end
The end has no end the end has no end
The end has no end the end has no end...
(The Strokes - The End Has No End)
*nobody understands*

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

So lately... been wonderin...

a bunch of us went to KTV last nite coz our manager florence wuz gonna get transferred... wat for? seriously... i dun farkin know... rumour has it... not only are the managers moving ard... the full-timers too... wat the hell... aren't things going well? haven't we been hitting sales targets? i know change is good lahz... if u stay too long at one place u'll feel kinda stagnant... yes tats true... but its like... the whole atrium bunch... we all feel so close wif florence... as usual... it's gotta be tat sadist who suggested this shakeup... no evidence yet but i'm sure its her... in the word's of my colleague grace... go die go die... oh well... we'll see how things pan out... might be for the better... or maybe the worse... we'll juz hafta wait n see... anywayz... back to the KTV... went down to this place at cuppage plaza... a big bunch of us were there... even vicky joined us! tats really a surprise... i only knew a few songs compared to the cheena galz... even if i knew the songs... i only know the tune n not the lyrics... harloz... chinese songs lehz... they like know every chinese song like tat... jon n i mostly sang english songs coz tats wat we're more fluent wif... but at least jon know stephanie sun songs... better than me... scrolled thru the video machine... none of them i know how to sing well... in fact... i can't sing well mahz... but i cuden hold myself back when i found wherever u will go by the calling... hahaz... my goodness... my favourite song can find here... incredible...
*nobody understands*

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Words can't describe wat i saw...

I had quite an “interesting” day yesterday to say the least… after work at the airport I made my way down to bugis… I wuz supposed to help my friend amy wif a survey for a company she wuz working for… always tot it wuz an electronics survey she wanted me to do… but when I got there… another guy surveyed me all abt digicams… my goodness… I only heard of 3 brands… canon… nikon… and konica which does the minolta cameras… other than tat… I din even know HP… sony… panasonic all had cameras ya know… even samsung got cameras… wow… gotta go check them out 1 day when I’m in the mood man… well… after tat… as I wuz makin my way back to the mrt station… I passed by bugis village… I looked at my watch n realised I still had time b4 I had to meet risa… so I said… y not juz take a look at the stuff… and wow… tats where it all got interesting…
*nobody understands*

I remembered askin jon a couple of weeks back where the fake evisu jeans were sold… saw many pple on the streets wearin them and juz wondered where they got it from… apparently jon said edge@parco… but I din see any over there… looks like u gotta bring me there the next time… but I did see the fake 1s at bugis village… wow… my goodness… not only evisu… got supreme ah… bathing ape ah… von dutch ah… brands tat dun even have retailers… resellers… suppliers or franchisees here in s’pore and it made its way to our shores… bloody fantastic… I took a look at a supreme shirt… it has the tags... original 1 I dun know if it is… since I’ve never seen a real supreme shirt b4 in person… basically it looks rite from the outside… but when u touch the tee… wow… its like ultraman quality… meaning… the quality is like those tee-shirts u buy from those nite markets ard ur area kind tat go for 3 for $10… I’m not jokin… u go take a walk ard bugis village urself and u’ll eventually find it too… and ALL these supposedly expensive yet limited brands… they’re ALL here! Farkin incredible… no joke man… I wuz like a little kid lost in a candy store… problem is… the candy weren’t real… but juz plastic imitations… it wuz as though… there were all kinds of candy ard… u wuden know they were plastic till u tasted them… and tats how it wuz… they juz looked so real… problem is… they weren’t! stuff like these… authentic online already cost as little as US$40… tats abt 70 sing dollars… and here I asked them… how much does this bathing ape tee-shirt cost… oh this 1… this 1 only 22 dollar… good deal… real 1… latest design…
*nobody understands*

there wuz a store in wisma atria called redwolves which sold imported evisu jeans… in case u dun know wat evisu is… they’re those jeans u see on the street wif the “m” on the pockets kind… something like a moto or seagull pattern… yeah… tats evisu… the shop opened recently and it wuz kinda like a soft launch thing wif the official launch bein somewhere in august… jon n I had walked into the store a couple of times to check the stuff out… they had the clothes separated into 2 sections… wif one section bein from europe while the other from japan… quite cool actually the designs… had hand-painted ones as well as embroidered 1s… from the touch of the jeans u cud tell they’re of good quality… designs are unique… but when look at the price tag… I wuz blown away man… the cheapest pair I scouted wuz as low as 350… yes… 350… the highest wuz this pair from japan… the salesman said it wuz a special made only for s’pore design… it cost 950… wahhh… my 2 mths at the airport also not enuff to cover tat… while we were there… we had a good chat wif the salesman… askin him abt stuff like how wud u distinguish the real ones from the fake ones… he told us quite a bit… and we both found it very enlightening… ok… now back to bugis village… as soon as I saw the evisu jeans I went for them… took a look at them and my goodness… they’re world’s apart from the ones at wisma… quality is not tat good… the design is dodgy… and plus they’re bein sold at an amazingly low price… now u know where to get them cheap man… so many pple are ownin them these days… jon says he’s disgusted by them… but to me… to a certain level… hey… it’s juz laughable…
*nobody understands*

After all tat… met wif terisa for dinner… u look so tired… haiz… u need to eat better and rest more u hear me… pls take better care of urself… headed down to the airport… again… one of my ex-classmates from tourism wud be leavin for Hawaii to further her studies… n her freakin flight’s at 6am… risa janice n sabrina wud be stayin over at the airport to send her off since there’d be no public transport there in the wee hrs of the morning… I cuden stay as I knew me mum wud murder me if I did… but well… denise… if u’re reading this… hope u’ll be happy over there and tat u’ll do well… come back soon!
*nobody understands*

Monday, August 02, 2004

EVER WONDER...

  • Why you don't ever see the headline " Psychic Wins Lottery " ?
  • Why " abbreviated " is such a long word ?
  • Why doctors call what they do " practice " ?
  • Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons ?
  • Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ?
  • Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...

  • On a bar of Palmolive soap: " Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?..)
  • On some frozen dinners: " Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( but, it's " just " a suggestion)
  • On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) :" Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late rite!)
  • On Nytol Sleep Aid: " Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this because?...)
  • On a Japanese food processor: " Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this...I'm just curious)
  • On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: " Product will be hot after heating. " (and you thought?...)