Xtreme Make-Me-Over

Dear Cadet,
Wow, looks like you are doing well in the force aren't you? As what you quoted, you said "I just can't get enough of the force, life's just FANTASTIC in there! They are treating us reaaaaaally nice! The people are UNBELIEVABLE, the toilets are SPLENDID, the food is EXCELLENT, the drills are EXCITING and life couldn't be any better!"
Yeah right, who are you kiddin'? Eh, cheer up 'big' guy, just imagine how suave and charming you'll become with the NEW LOOK (after 2 years).
Don't worry, this definitely beats Extreme Makeover pants down.
Well, on a lighter note, really glad to know that you are still in one piece. No matter what, I don't wanna see those chicken legs and arms any longer eh? They better be more of substance the next time you're out.
My girlfriend's back from Cam. Turns out she didn't BUY MY ALCOHOL!!! Hey, im cool.
It's getting a lil' busier at work lately it seems. Work = no social life. I need a break.Period.

Point Blanc

Dear Cadet,
How's life at the academy? ARE YOU FINALLY HOLDING A GUN YET? The feeling's just ecstatic isn't it? Ha! The guys miss you out here on the main island. Do hope eveything's going well as expected. The alarm clock ain't doing you much help eh? You'd prob need the usual treatment of someone unveiling those curtains and before you know it, your arse is on fire. Be good you hear? No worries, you'll be on bail soon.
My girlfriend has left for a church retreat to Cambodia. JO? CAMBODIA? Totally doesn't 'link' (if you know her highness, you should know why)
My phone will run on an exceptionally low bill this week...No more late night calls, no more messages to ask of my whereabouts and my evening plans...I'm gona miss her for an entire week (and so she said).
She has been on the down side lately, and I've neglected her. The most I could have done was arrange a meet up before she boarded that plane, but I failed to do so. A thousand apologies sweet pea...Your girlfriend hasn't been feeling chirpy and smiley lately. She'll catch up with you when you get back.
Right now, she's trying to put back the smile she has always given you...

Let's not be sexist here.

Men are canned food - once they've passed their expiry date, discard them. Please, NEVER ever recycle.
Men are playthings - sex objects who are constantly at the back and call of their women. In other words, they are pretty much worn out as time goes by.
Men are deprived mammals - Unlike the whales, men busk in the glory of being associated with a busty sexpot. They can even afford to divert their fullest attention to other women in the presence of their partners. However, it's sad that they always tend to ignore the mirrors.
Men are naive beings - they believe their women love them more than they can commit themselves. To women, it's no big deal. Men just think too highly and too much.
Men are politics-aggressive bitches - they flood the gossip tabloids more often than working women do.
Men think they are the kings of the road - but when the URA ladies arrive, they break into a frenzy and run for their cars.
Men are losers - they get into unnecessary fights becos of some important lady called EGO.
Men are excellent liars - so brilliant that they can lie to their partners straight in the face, at the very last minute, at the circumstance where there's no second chance and lastly, even when their partner already knows what his perfectly 'seamless' cock and bull story is about.

2 pussies

Everything's so exaggerated these days... ;>
*nobody understands*

Men of the Year

Have ur pick for man of the year... ;>
*nobody understands*

Number 1 


Number 2 


Number 3 

What happens?

Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Learn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Let's turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?

( Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc )

A week left... tats all i got before i enlist... seemed like yesterday when i told myself i still got a month to enjoy... heard from someone who's currently serving in police now tat the prep course ( the one which i have to go for ) is really no stroll in the park... initially he thought it'd be senang... but boy was he wrong... apparently... tekong dun even do such things... was quite an eye-opener talking to him... and his words to me were very encouraging... " u die already lah "
*nobody understands*

I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why

I miss my work... feel aimless these days juz sitting at home and doin nothing when i could be doin the same at work and earning money... hahaz... private joke... but seriously... i loved doin wat i did... most of my colleagues were nice pple too... it was good talkin to them and i felt tat i cud bond wif them... well... it's time to try something new yeah?
*nobody understands*

money isn't everything...
but without money u can't buy anything

heard from an insider tat my old workplace which i spent 2 yrs at is gonna close down soon coz of falling profits... it's sad yes... but i guess the upper management always knew ( or so they thought they knew ) wat was best for the company... i left on a good note... no ill feelings towards each other or anything... but now... i must air my grievances towards this place...
1. if u dun have enuff teaspoons... then for God's sake... order more!
2. plastic spoons... are u insane?!
3. breakages happen... they aren't gonna mend back on their own...
4. a boss wif good pple skills wud be nice...
5. unfortunately... the boss only talks nicely to curvy, shapely pretty girls...
6. how abt listening to us for a change n not do wat as u please? aren't we a team?
7. the pay structure is rigid u cheap bastards...
8. u hold a high position... nobody likes u... pls understand tat...
9. is it me? i dun think so... we've worked together b4... but u're juz so hard to click with... u're too by the book... how abt being a little flexible yeah?
10. if u dun already know it... it'd be nice to do something abt the pest problem...
*nobody understands*

jabs are wonderful...
one from the nurse and i'm all good...
i love pain...

It saddens me to know tat... when i have a craving for my favourite pasta in town... i can't do anything abt it... shaw house and suntec outlets are gone... besides tat... prices are spiralling... and the quality at boat quay... was not up to standard...
*nobody understands*

China has a population of a billion people. One Billion. That means even if u're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like u

say it isn't so... some of my friends are fans of ur blog...
sure u write well... but i'll nv be ur fan...
*nobody understands*

What happens when you:
1) have nothing to do
2) own a sharp knife
3) have a large lime
4) own a patient cat
5) drink too much tequila


*nobody understands*

Leevarpool......