Everything's Not Lost

Asked you a question…looked at u… u din need to lie… it was already over… all I needed was to hear it for myself… u’ve known me for quite a while now… u know I wouldn’t mind… juz say it to me honestly… wat was the reason? do I really want to know? I already knew… I juz wanted to hear it from u… but the truth was too hard… it din come out… was it really? I asked u again… but it was juz the same from u… u must have ur reasons… really? Wat’s better? Lying to someone so u wun hurt their feelings? Or juz being straight coz u know he/she deserves tat much? It was a nothing… really a nothing issue… wat wuz so tough? u cud have juz been straight wif me… I wud have understood… u really din need to lie… but u did... wat am i? I hate it when pple lie to me… especially when it was a nothing… even though it’s a white lie… I’d rather it be real than be fake... shud I be disappointed? Where wud it lead me? nowhere perhaps… I’ve seen this side of u… i look like glass to u… look… I dun want pity… nv wanted it… nv needed it... pls understand… the truth wud have been easier…
*nobody understands*

Working here in the office has been boring… Close to yr end… it’s almost deserted… but being the NSmen tat I am… I can’t exactly juz disappear when n wheres I please… I can’t even surf for crying out loud… wish there was more to this… more to the pay at least… I’m earning peas… not even the nuts… I’m still getting used to it… but everyone has to be thrifty somewhere in their lives… why not now?
*nobody understands*

Fix You by Coldplay has been the voice in my head for weeks now… it’s really a beautiful song which unfortunately doesn’t get enough airplay on the radio… especially Class 95 which I’ve switched to from Power 98… have to rely on my trusted CD which Lydia burned for me to listen to it… Discman’s are still cool alrite…
*nobody understands*

The tears stream, down your face,
I promise you I will learn from mistakes

Thinking back… I once told my close frenz tat I wud wait for this girl… but I gave up coz I felt it was stupid… is she really worth it? there are 2 kinds of guys… the noble kind and the sinful kind… the noble guy wouldn’t want anybody to think badly of him… he’ll juz grit his teeth… accept everything as it is… be the loser… wait for his turn no matter how long… if there ever was one… and not be a troublemaker… there’d be a possibility she’d nv gif him tat chance… but he wun mind… coz it’s his choice to wait… the sinful guy wud go all out to win the girl he wants… no matter wat pple think of him… love comes 1st… he’ll do anything he can to woo her even if she had a bf… so wat?! he wud say… he’ll do whatever it takes to break them up… coz he is impatient and believes she belongs to no other but himself… there’s no right n no wrong between both guys… one gives up easily… whereas the other wun… some women might be moved by sinful guy’s sincerity… but others might juz be turned off… the noble guy can be the girl’s closest fren… but he’ll always be 2nd best... who’s the winner? The girl to be honest…
I’m very clear-headed now… I promise you… I will learn from mistakes…
*nobody understands*

You’re nuts for her… u seriously are… u care for her… so much to a point u scowl at another who shows it too… u’re constantly worried for her… worried she wun wake up and continue living a lie… she can’t have the best of both n she knows it… wat’s going on? u’ve fallen for her… dug a hole too deep tat even if u wanted to climb out of it u’d need her to get u the ladder… many a times u juz want to disappear from it all… but she hangs tat strap ard u coz she doesn’t want u to… why are u doing this u ask… u already have a bf… she’s confused… she wants u… but yet she can’t bare to leave him… it makes u suffer even more knowing u can’t have her… who’s to blame? Miserable? Are u really? Cheated? Shud u? it’s hard… u’re juz being yourself… a fren… ur fren… someday you hope to be something more… but tat’s someday… who’s the winner in all this? The girl… it’s always been the girl…

You’re nuts for her… u really are… u dun care if she’s attached or not… u believe in love at 1st sight… u go all out of ur way to make her feel special… to a point even her bf can’t reciprocate… do u love him u ask? She can’t answer u… then why are u still wif him? She can’t answer u… u continuously make her feel bad abt her own relationship… in hope tat she wakes up and realizes tat u in fact are the one… she does think abt u… only coz u’re constantly bugging her… only coz she cares for u as a friend… only coz she wonders wat it’ll be like with u… leave him u tell her… she doesn’t want to see u like this… pls stop she says… I’ll make sure u have a better life u tell her… better? She nv complained… such is ur self-esteem tat u know u wun fail… she doesn’t want to hurt u… yet she’s hurting her bf now… who’s the loser in all this? The girl… it’s always been the girl…

*nobody understands*

No matter how you stereotype someone…
They can still come along and surprise u every once in a while…

It’s better to have a broken heart…
Than have a rusted one…

In time...
Only if u give it time…

*nobody understands*

Merry Christmas

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time - I will fall
Into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

If I was to give in - give it up
- and then
Take a breath - make it deep
Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one
That could make us cold
You know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
( Dishwalla - Angels or Devils )

*nobody understands*

Only knew abt something called the 3-second rule today… anybody else heard of it? It’s when something edible touches something “not-so-clean”… it’s still edible as long as it has not been longer than 3 seconds… hahaz… incredible… my friend believes in this rule… I was trying to keep a straight face all the while the guy was telling me this…
*nobody understands*

Had lunch at Fish&Co a couple of days back as part of my department’s Christmas lunch… honest to God… the food there isn’t as fantastic as some pple make it out to be… I ate pasta… well… some of it… it wasn’t anything fantastic at all n I do know my pasta! Tasted a bit of my colleague’s fish batter n I was quite surprised tat the taste was a little off… even he commented abt it… oh well… couple this with the disappointment I had at pasta fresca a week back… this was really very disappointing… prices are going up… but portions are getting smaller… not only tat… the quality hasn’t improved… I had a conversation with Ivan recently on where we can find the best food and we both agreed it’s still coffeeshops… not foodcourts mind u… but real authentic coffeeshops… hmmm… maybe all tat snort from their noses and the sweat from their foreheads make the food taste so much better! I’m juz kidding… tats y they have the towels ard them for tat of course…
*nobody understands*

Due to unfortunate FORSEEN circumstances… I’m not able to provide most of my friends with presents for Christmas… Christmas is a special time n I hold it very dear to my heart… so I really hope u guys will forgive me for not getting u anything yeah… take a raincheck?
*nobody understands*

I do wish things were different…
*nobody understands*

In recent times...

Been feeling rather distant with God lately… u all must be thinking wat’s jon talking abt sia… but the truth is… I feel I’ve turned by back on God in recent times… sure enuff I’m not as close to him as some other pple are… but I nv was this distant… I really dun know why it became like this… I guess maybe it’s coz I nv took a look at my relationship with him only till recently… last tues I went for penitential service at Queen of Peace… I’ve not been proud of many things tat I’ve done in the past yr n I’ve always wanted someone to know… the thing is… nobody ever knew… sure enuff… even my closest friends knew a side of jon… but nv really jon… I once told a friend tat even comedians suffer from depression… she juz laughed it off… but God knew wat was wrong… but I nv appreciated it… I nv spoke to him… but on tues I needed someone badly… I was desperate… I did something which I shud have done a long time ago… I turned to him… terisa’s relationship wif him is very strong n I admire tat… I confessed whatever I needed to with my priest… I din know the priest I was confessing to as he was a priest from holy trinity… but it din matter… I needed to feel at peace with myself again… i prayed to him for strength… I was juz too weak now… I was wallowing in my own self-pity... i nv felt this low… coz I’ve nv experienced tat b4… I was in a hole… and all the stupid things I did juz made me dig deeper… it’s time i climbed my way back out… slowly but surely… everything will be ok… I can’t expect him to fly me out… but he’ll definitely show me the way… my mum had initially asked me to go for choice weekend b4 she left for UK… it’s be good for me she said… but without even thinking abt it I turned her down flat coz I tot it was lame… but thing’s have changed… I’m actually giving it serious thought… there’s one coming up in January n will wait till my mum gets back to inquire more… pple change… if only they put in effort… no matter how u stereotype someone… he can come along n still surprise u every once in awhile…
*nobody understands*

Wise words...

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
(I have a catapult. Give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.)

They say that guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled "BANG!", I don't think you'll kill too many people. - Eddie Izzard

Jon, you've been a fine son, but i think it's time for a change.
I found a boy overseas who can do it cheaper.

I'm all dried out for you...

*nobody understands*

Broken...

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
*nobody understands*
nobody ever does...

Festive Treasures

The World Cup draw’s gonna be made later today… I’m quite excited actually… next yr’s world cup has a few new additions so I’m wondering how they’ll perform… even Pele told the papers not to rule out Angola going all the way… wow… words from the great man… honestly speaking… from a neutral point of view I think argentina will take the cup… after their disastrous 2002 showing… I think now it’s their turn to shine… but then again… I’ve been known to be wrong on a number of occasions… who knows… maybe Pele cud be rite?
*nobody understands*

Still on the topic of soccer… the FA Cup draw was made last week and here are some of the fixtures worth a mention for the 3rd round…

Arsenal vs Cardiff
Hmmm… a potential banana skin for Arsenal as Cardiff can be giant killers… but in reality… come on… u dun really think arsenal cud lose rite? But who knows… as long as pascal cygan continues playing the way he does... Cardiff definitely will have a chance… a long story cut short… Cardiff seriously need to be super on-form and they need arsenal to not show up for them to have any chance…

Burton Albion vs Man Utd
Wow… this is a tough 1… a mid-table conference league side against the treble winners of 1999… a part-time side tat has the likes of lawyers, teachers, construction workers and gamblers versus full-time professionals… a team tat hasn’t reached the third round of the FA cup since 1985 take on the 11-time FA cup winners… need I say more? But Burton did beat a second-string Man Utd side in a friendly 2-1 the last time they met… can they pull it off again? Well… only if they field tat same second string side…

Chelsea vs Huddersfield
Huddersfield travel to Stamford Bridge for their third round tie… Huddersfield are 2nd in Division One ( meaning the league just below the Coca-Cola Championships )… to be honest… 2nd string Chelsea is still able to beat any team in the Premiership so I dun foresee any problems for them… but of course… everyone dreams of the day they beat Chelsea… juz like the time when they were beaten by Man City…

Luton vs LiverpoolLuton are 5th in the League Championships and are in playoff contention to the Premiership… but seriously have a habit of leaking goals… they have conceded more goals than any other team in the top half of their league… but not to worry… they face a team who dun have a habit of scoring much anyway… but I think liverpool will still edge this out by the odd goal…

Man City vs Scunthorpe
Without a shadow of a doubt… this is THE match of the 3rd round… although man city have not performed well in cup competitions during recent times… I expect them to turn the corner with this match… this is Man City’s time!
*nobody understands*

Got a bhangra party tonite man! Woohoo… hahaz… Charles, my ex-manager at harry’s invited the gang over to his place for “appetizers”… meaning lots of drinks and catching up… once we have our fill we’re most definitely going to some kind Indian club for bhangra music n dance… I dun know whether I’m going coz quite frankly this doesn’t interest me one bit… but then again… most of the gang are going so I dun know sia… it’ll most likely be expensive so I’m more on the “no” side… money’s been tight ever since I entered NS… shouldn’t be spending like celebrity when I myself earn less than a janitor… ahhh… the spirit of Christmas…
*nobody understands*

Mother: June tat time want to go Lake Tahoe?
Son: Eh dun want lahz… I got a long term plan… need to save money and leave days... store up to see Jill…
Mother: Oh really… when?
Son: Tats y it’s a long-term plan… I dun know… maybe during winter?
Mother: I see… is this like the last time when u said u wanted to go but in the end nv go coz no money?
Son: Errr… something like tat? But this time it’s gonna be different… I think I can make it this time…
Mother: I say… my son... u used to earn 3 times more than u currently do… I wud say tat’s the main difference… and u say u’ll make it this time? My my u are ambitious aren’t u?
Son: Wow… those motivational classes u attended are really worth every penny...
*nobody understands*

Dammit… I’m hooked on Sudoku!
*nobody understands*

2 months in the office… office politics is brewing… behind those smiles… u dun know wat they’re sending each other thru e-mail… I’m only too familiar with this… and so it begins… stay tuned for more news…
*nobody understands*

Stuck in Rewind

When you try your best but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want but not what you need,
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

And high up above or down below,
When you're too in love to let it go.
If you never try you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

The tears stream, down on your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

The tears stream, down on your face,
I promise you I will learn from mistakes.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
To Fix you.

( Coldplay – Fix You )

Been stayin in the office till late for a couple of days juz to finish my work… wow… the old jon wud juz count down the minutes on the clock… but guess tat ain’t the case rite now is it? Juz like wat my fren told me… work so hard for wat? No OT… nobody know… work so hard for wat? I prefer to finish each day’s work b4 I go I guess…if not it’ll juz continue to pile up wif next day’s work… plus I’m not exactly a very quick worker so I tend to be rather slow… got a deadline to meet now so it’s a bit tiring… find workin in the office more draining compared to my other jobs really… my lunchtimes are mostly spent sleeping… and I get up juz 10 minutes b4 it ends to run down to the canteen to ta bao something… rather anti-social I must say but it’s not as if I dun wanna eat wif them… they know where I am… but I’m still able to keep myself sane by playin badminton after work wif some of my colleagues… wow… healthy living…
*nobody understands*

Met Pei Lin the other day for a bit of catching up… asked ah bung jon to join us but again he wasn’t free… we couldn’t decided wat to eat so once again… when u’re in a jam… carl’s jr is the way to go… so we meet again my burger fren… had a rematch wif the double western bacon cheeseburger but once again I proved victorious… while we were talking she mentioned abt going back to harry’s to work… can’t stay away can u… Pei Lin once complained to me tat she din like working at Harry’s… but well… she needs the cash and the manager Charles has been nice to her… realised tat Pei Lin’s the kind of gal who hangs out better wif the guys… a guy’s gal if u wanna put it tat way… we mentioned how remarkable it was we’re still frenz after harry’s considering the fact we nv did work together b4… while I did graveyards she’d be doin morning… if we did evening shifts together… I’d definitely be stationed at T1 whereas she’d be at T2 under the supervision of Charles… ahhh… I miss my harry’s days… although I din like the management… my colleagues were great and I loved the graveyard shifts… much to the dismay of Terisa back then… but for all the rite reasons only… anywayz… after some catching up we finally made our way home… see u at the banghra party…
*nobody understands*

Watched Harry Potter yesterday wif Lydia n frenz… I din manage to watch the previous instalment so I was kinda worried I’d be lost… and at times during the movie I was to be honest… nv had a very gd impression of these books made into movie kind of films… I mean… how can u cram so many hundred of pages into a 3hr (maybe less) film? One fine example was the count of monte cristo… the beginning started out fine in the film… but once it got to the middle everything was juz rushed from then on… the story din link well and I was very disappointed… so I guess harry potter fans must know how I felt when they watched the goblet of fire… I din really think it was very good… at times the movie din connect properly… found it rather bumpy and unless u read the book (which I din) then u’ll know wat was missing and wat actually happened in between… but the visuals were quite stunning to be honest and I think tat was it’s saving grace…
*nobody understands*

25 days left to Christmas… better get ur Christmas shopping done soon b4 it’s too late…
*nobody understands*
Mood Meter– Green
Energy Bar– Red
Financial Value– Red